Can You Rape the Willing?

Sir/Ma'am,

Yesterday was very intense. Master had been away for a while and to be honest it was hard to get back into our routine and remembering things like saying Master. I don't know why that one is so hard for me.

I had passed my inspection and Master took me to an appointment. When we got back, he mentioned my disrespect and lack of following rules to me. I was concerned but figured a good flogging was in order. That's how he usually handles these things. Nope!

Master ripped my clothes off and raped me. Now they say you can't rape the willing, I disagree. The amount of force he used intimidated me a lot. It was the first time I saw him take punishing me so seriously. It didn't matter if I cried out (as long as the safe word isn't uttered of course, which I didn't) he slammed my pussy hard with his cock. He was beating me while he fucked me very hard. I felt a few tears a couple of times.

Usually if I cry out Master would stop and caress me and calm everything down. This time the cries made it worse! When he was done with me, he told me to use the restroom. I can't remember exactly what happened, cause I was kinda in shock.... but I messed up when I talked to Master. I'm not sure if I had swore, not said Master, looked him in the eye... I really don't remember, because the punishment is all I can remember, that and there are four rules, only four and I better learn them quick!

Master was so pissed, literally! He forced me into the bathtub and made me get on my knees. He told me to open my mouth. I knew what he had planned, he was going to piss in my mouth. This is a borderline issue for me. I understand being pissed on... but in my mouth? I honestly wasn't even turned on, so that wasn't even in the mix for me. I definitely was NOT in subspace at that time. I bawled! I cried and begged him no. He kept telling me to open my mouth, and I kept refusing.

Master tried prying my mouth open, but I was so scared and worried that not letting him do this was my only concern. Master then went and grabbed the dental gag, I fought him and lost (almost lost a tooth too). He had the gag as far open as he could. Tears covered my breasts. Master then began pissing on me, first my chest, then my neck, working his way to my mouth. I swear Master had been saving up two days worth of piss. He just kept going and going. He then pissed on my cheeks and my chin. I kept raising my head as far as I could to keep from getting anything in my mouth. The smell was horrible. I felt a few splatter droplets hit my tongue, but thankfully Master was kind enough not to piss directly in my mouth.

I was covered in this smelly mess, crying. I cried out promises and admissions to stuff, I probably didn't do, but I felt horrible. I was raped and then forcibly pissed on. Then he turn on the shower as cold as can be to "wash" off the piss. It was shear torture. This was his first time for disregard to anything I felt or said. He had a plan/mission and he carried it out without any hesitation. I guess he had already worked it out in his mind what he needed the end result to be, and I think he got it.

After cleaning up properly, I found myself actually respecting him more than I already did. He has shown me to what limits he is willing to go. He has shown that he is NOT going to stray from the goal we set together a while ago. I do know if I said the safe word, he would have stopped, but I can no longer count on him stopping for a few forced tears. He has learned what my true limits are as well. Now that he knows where my real boundaries lie, I think the training will be truly on course. It may not take as long now to be trained enough to know I AM his slave fully.

It's scary and exciting at the same time. Master isn't fucking around anymore, he means it, and I know that I better give a lot more than I have been. This isn't about his follow through anymore, it's about his domination over me, and I better start learning to respect that he is in control.

I am sure some of this comes from the advice that has been shared with Master, as well as him being tired of having to punish me for the same stupid mistakes over and over again. I am definitely hoping that there are subs/slaves out there that can advise me. Those of you who are experienced, I need advise on coping and learning to get those things into my head and not forget to follow those damn rules. I would appreciate any help.

Thank you for your time, advise, and attention, Sir/Ma'am

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

He's Back!

Sir/Ma'am,

Yesterday my Master came back home! It was nice to have him back, even though I had messed up my legs, and was afraid to show him.

Master greeted me by shoving his cock in my mouth, I was so happy :-). He and I talked about the week, and what things he felt I needed to change. He plans on working on my daily routine, so that I don't have to have reminders, I just know to do it.

Before going to bed, Master put a hood on me, blindfold and tied me down so I couldn't move. He proceeded to torture my breasts and smack me with the paint stick. Master put the dental gag in my mouth, sat on my chest and put his balls in my mouth, as he jacked off. He kept talking to me about him cumming down my throat. I was so wet, I wanted to suck his cock and couldn't! Then he released into my mouth, but I wasn't allowed to swallow. I had to hold his cum in the back of my mouth. (no he didn't take a picture, I wish he had so I could have seen) Then he told me to swallow, and of course I did. He was claiming me back, and I loved it.

He then tortured me with the vibrator, I never was allowed to cum. He then put me on the floor on a dog bed, chained me to the bed, and made me sleep there, like an animal.

This morning when Master woke me up, I sucked on his cock and he came in my mouth and I swallowed. I can't eat unless I swallow him every morning. He pulled up his pants and went out the door for the day. It's good to have Master back. I feel more comfortable now!

Thank you for your time and attention, Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

OUCH!!! Questions, please respond!!

Sir/Ma'am,

Yesterday I was trying to get ready for Master to return today. I thought I would take care of certain things, like dying my hair and shaving, etc.

The hair turned out great! Nice bright red, just like Master likes. My legs, are a totally different story. I had decided to use Nair. I have used it before with no problem. Well, 1 minute into having it on my skin and I was dying! The pain was horrible! I hopped in the shower with a washcloth and soap and tried to clean it off as quickly and thoroughly as possible.

When I got out, the entire back sides of my legs, from the bottom of my ass to half-way down my calves...chemical burned. I have been fighting the welts and pain for over 24 hours now. It has left me sick (can't keep anything down) and unable to do ANYTHING!!!

I was wondering if anything like this has happened to you? I am also curious to know what the Masters out there expect from their slaves for grooming. Do you expect your slave/sub to be completely hairless from the armpits down? How often do you require your slave/sub to do a grooming to that extreme? I am curious as to what other slaves/subs do out there. Please email me and let me know, or comment at the bottom.

Thank you for your help, time and attention, Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

Why BDSM?

Sir/Ma’am,

So, the question I am sure I will be asked over and over again is why have I decided to adopt this lifestyle? What has driven me to wanting to give myself over to one person, fully?

My first answer of course is that my Master is the love of my life. I married him before this lifestyle; I chose to be with him the rest of my life before we even discussed trying this lifestyle. Even if he had chosen not to do this, I would be with him the rest of my life.

I know though, just as you probably suspect, I have a deeper reason, maybe a few which drives me to want to be not just submissive, but completely submissive and take the role of slave seriously. I have been thinking long, knowing not only do I need to answer this question for others, including Master, but I too need to know.

I know that I have been forced to be responsible, in charge, making decisions, and giving up some of my childhood, thus being unable to live free, and being who I really want to be. With my husband’s career, I have been put in the position of being Mom, Dad, lawyer, teacher, etc. I have had to go 6 months at various times, being these people by myself. It drains on you, and you just wish someone would come along and take all these burdens from you and allow you to just be who you always wanted to be.

I have always felt a little fake. I absolutely hate fake people, and so I loathe myself. I know there is a difference between being polite and being fake, but to ensure a spouse’s career, you have to be careful. You can’t support things you might normally, because it could hurt his job. Also, you have to fake being strong and be there for your children, by yourself. I have always pretended to be a strong person, and it has completely ruined me. I have an illness that I believe has been made worse earlier than it should be, because of this.

I have a certain faith, I don’t necessarily subscribe to a specific doctrine. In my life I have practiced many different faiths and I have chosen a little from each one that makes sense. NOT that support what I want to do, but getting rid of all the dogma involved. In getting spiritual support and needing support for my family, I go to a specific church, but feel I cannot be me, because what I believe isn’t totally in line with the church we attend. I have yet to find a church that believes what I believe, so we go to a church that is as close as we have found.

My faith leads me to wonder how to be completely submissive to a God I cannot see/feel/hear. How do you turn everything, your whole world over and trust completely that if you do everything that is required that you will be loved and safe. Perhaps if I can be completely be submissive to my husband/master, I can use what I have learned in my walk of faith.

At this time I can hear people scratching their heads. How can you go from BDSM to believing in God? I am not sleeping around with people. This is something I am doing with my husband. I want to learn to respect him more, appreciate him more, and be able to show it to him. As I stated, my faith is unique and I believe that as long as my husband and I are together in this, we are doing nothing more than strengthening our bond as husband and wife.

As a child, living with a single mom, there were high expectations for me. I was expected to get nearly perfect grades, be in all sorts of clubs/sports/etc. These expectations were not applied to my sibling. In my teenage years, my mother got very ill. I was expected to take care of her, alone. When she got worse, I was blamed by my family, not her illness or their lack of their help, but that I must have done things to make her condition worse.

My mother was in the hospital or living with her parents a lot as well. During those times I had no discipline at all. No one cared when I came home, if I came home, what my grades were etc. I went from a strict lock down to nothing! I tried very hard to get their attention by being bad, okay a goody two shoes version of being bad. No one even noticed. So, I got worse, and nothing. However, every time my mother got worse, it was always my fault.

The lack of consistency and boundaries confused me and it has left me with the inability to make personal decisions. I can stare at a birthday card and not know if I should keep it or throw it away, because it may make someone upset that I threw it away. I have a hard time with boundaries that involve emotional decisions. I cannot make decisions on who I should or should not trust; I usually chose incorrectly. I don’t know how to speak up for myself. When I do, people say I have changed or that they fear that I may hurt them. If I don’t speak up then I become a door mat for everyone!

My illness causes the inability to remember or be able to decide how/when to complete projects, chores, items, etc. I can know something needs to be done, but I do not know how to start it, or if I have completed it, how to clean up/wrap it up properly. If things aren’t scheduled and followed up on, they get half done, lost, or not touched at all. This is a part of my life that bothers me so much. I believe that my word is all I have. If I make a promise, then I do everything I can to keep it. With my illness, that makes it nearly impossible.

I feel this lifestyle will help me make boundaries, following lists/schedules, know what is expected of me, and I won’t have to make any decisions on my own. I will have discipline, learn to be myself, be comfortable with who I really am. With help I will know who to trust and who not. I will learn how to overcome future guilt of hurting someone. I will learn to understand my wants/needs and how to express them properly. I will learn to love myself for who I am, instead of trying to be what everyone else expects me to be. My husband/Master knows me. He knows who I am deep inside, and it is my hope/want/need for him to bring that back out. That person has been lost along the way of my life. I hardly remember her.

I know that Master wants her back. I know that is who he fell in love with and that is who is really inside, she just needs encouragement to come back and to learn how to be in life again. This isn’t a journey about sex (however, it helps!). This is a journey about finding myself, my soul, my purpose, and my ability to love those who matter to me, as well as myself.

Why do I think this is the way to do it? When we played around with BDSM, I noticed the next day, I would feel different. The more often we played, the more I opened up, the more I realized that there was something to this. I noticed that my love of writing came back. I noticed that I felt freer and open to things. In the last month, my relationship with my youngest child has gotten better. He says he has more fun with me now. We definitely talk more and he feels more comfortable coming to me. My Master has seen changes in me as well.

Yes, there are questions Master and I will have to answer as we go along. Yes, there are some things that contradict between what I am accomplishing and the lifestyle. I understand that things aren’t going to be cut and dry. This journey with Master is the step we need to communicate with each other. We will finally feel comfortable talking about our wants/needs/morals etc. I feel this will bring us closer and together he and I will tackle the contradictions and how to tailor all of this to fit us. It’s going to be a long process, but I welcome it with open arms and hope/pray that this is the step needed to finally be myself and live a long happy life.

Thank you for your time and attention, Sir/Ma’am.

Sinfully Red

www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com

BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

Friends

Sir/Ma'am,

To the followers of this blog and friends on various websites, Master and I greatly apologize for being missing in action the last few days. We were NOT ignoring you or giving up :-) In fact what happened is just this:

Master had asked for some help in how to better train me. Three different Doms had contacted Master. Master told them his requirements on what he needed. Some asked if they could speak directly to me. Master gave them his rules. Well, one Dom took it upon himself to try and command me to do things. Master had given him permission to talk to me, but the Dom was not even close to following Master's rules, so I did not respond to him.

When Master checked his email, this Dom had stated that Master's rules were unacceptable and to turn over control of me to him. WHAT?!?!?!? Master was PISSED to say the least. He pulled me off of the internet for a few days and we are now removing this person from all our friend lists on different sites. Master isn't sure he wants me online anymore without him right next to me. He is VERY protective.

I just don't understand how people can be so rude and think they own the world. Just so you know... if you were deleted as a friend... it was you LOL!!!

Thank you for understanding. We plan to continue blogging (maybe not every day), and communicating with those who are respectful and interested in helping/talking/sharing ideas.

Thank you for your time and attention Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

Ramblings of a Slave with No Sleep!

Sir/Ma'am,

Functioning without structure and sleep is very very hard. Master had just gotten me to this wonderful glorious point, then had to leave on business for a few days. I am dying... not just from the inability to cum (try as I might), it just won't CUM!~ It's from the lack of discipline, structure, follow through and presence.

I am lost without Master. My thought process is slow and weak, my joy, escaping through a leak somewhere, each day. Even this blog is suffering. I am at a loss for words. (Master would say that was a miracle and a break through) I have a couple of friends who are keeping me grounded, but even more who are trying to undo what Master has accomplished with me. Last night I swear everyone knew Master was gone and I hadn't said a thing. Three people wanted me to cyber with them.... where is the respect of asking the Master over the slave???

I have been thinking about our future. This one is kinda hard. We know we want to eventually add people into our lifestyle, here and there, but not sure where it all fits in, how, what about jealousy etc. I'm not just talking about me being jealous... but Master too. When I met Master I was bi-sexual and he knew it. So to bring up girls in sex talk, definitely helps :-) Master is a typical male who would love to see his slave with another girl. I chose to give up women when we got married, now this brings it all back. I am bi-sexual, and I get the chance to show my Master (not now but sometime in the future how I can love a woman too.

I am wondering how the rest of our community deals with bringing in others. Did it help, destroy, etc???

I'm just worried I guess and very very tired LOL!

Short blog today, but still there! :-)

Thank you for your time and attention, Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

The Training of Sinfully Red by Master Will

Saturday was the start of the intense training of my slave. Up until this point I was using mostly discipline to illicit the proper responses from my slave. Discipline is a good tool to use when you are training a slave but it is not the only thing that can be used. Today was the day we introduced degradation, humiliation and verbal reinforcement of what I expect out of my slave almost to the point of “brainwashing”.

Some of the goals I was working on with my slave are for her to stop swearing during our training sessions. Keep a proper eye line, proper decorum, and to continue to call me Master and not to forget, and to be able to appreciate my cum when it is given to her.

The day started off with some painful discipline light at first, didn’t want to break my precious slave right off the bat. This was to set the stage for what was to come during the day. I had the Training Of O on the screen for her to stare at with proper eye line while I brandished my riding crop. She is coming along very nicely with the proper eye line but every once in awhile she will turn towards me to look at me. Every time she looked at me she would get beat harder for her to remember to keep a proper eye line. By the end of the evening she was keeping a straight eye line. Areas I like to strike are the buttocks, thighs, and the breasts.

Now was the time to step up the game with humiliation. We went to the bathroom and gave her a proper enema. She has gotten use to a small portion but this was the second time I inserted a full bottles worth. She was able to hold it but she needs to work on self control, she wasn’t able to hold it very long. Once that was done I left her in peace but next time we will work on the embarrassment part and I will be with her the whole time.

Now that she was thoroughly cleaned out we proceeded to the wrapping up in saran wrap. This is the portion of the evening we work on humiliation along with “brainwashing”. I attached some E-stim electrodes to her pussy and ass and had her listen to a voice recording of me instructing her that pain is pleasure, I am in control, and she wants my cock and cum. This is where we train her to enjoy my cum. Once she was wrapped up I commenced with the pain portion which she is doing remarkably well with the E-stim. About half way through of the torture I inserted the dental gag we bought to keep her mouth wide open to accept my cum. She needed to pee and asked to pee and I told her she wasn’t through with the scene and she peed herself thus the humiliation. Than I came in her mouth for her to accept and she could do nothing but have it on the back of her tongue and swallow it.

Once I let her out I degraded her for peeing herself and that is when the tears came of the embarrassment. She is learning to overcome her embarrassment and accept her place in this relationship. I took her to the shower and pissed on her as well. She is learning quite fast to accept my piss on her. She isn’t complaining about it. She needs to start to learn to ask for it and enjoy it like a good slave should.

She was now cleaned up not to soil my bed I laid her down on her stomach and tied her to the bed. She has never complained about being tied down and in fact she loves it. Well tonight she wouldn’t this time. The intensity of the pain I inflicted her on was more than she has endured before. I thought she was to the point of accepting it but she wasn’t quite there. She needs to learn to accept more pain in her training. My slave did endure a lot so I have to give her some credit also she refrained from any swearing which is always good practice. I give her an A for that.

Things we will be working on in the future are more humiliation and degradation of this slave. Any ideas would be appreciated. We also need to work on performing in a somewhat public setting. I don’t mean out in the real world but at a BDSM party. She needs to overcome her fear of being naked in front of other people. She does have a self image issue but she needs to learn that it isn’t about what she feels about her looks but what she feels about serving her Master.

Master Will

The Love of Swallowing Cum

Sir/Ma'am,

I am writing today to talk about the love/want/need to have my Master's cum.

Over the last weekend, I have learned to appreciate the great gift of my Master's cum. Before this weekend, I had no problem sucking cock, I did have a problem with cum in my mouth and swallowing it. I was great at the great porn star move of letting a little get in my mouth and then pushing it out between my lips to look as though he had filled my mouth so full it was coming out on it's own. I would then lick the back of my hand to get the taste off of my tongue.

To me, cum was a nasty taste. Very rarely was cum in my mouth ever tolerable, let alone a wanted thing. We had even tried having Master eat specific foods to make the taste good enough for me to at least try to swallow... but it just wasn't happening.

Just as I had learned to make pain something pleasurable (which it is), I have learned to make eating my Master's cum, an amazing experience. I learned that it has nothing to do with the taste. Your mind decides what tastes good and what doesn't. If you change your attitude, you change how you think and feel about it.

A man's cum is special. A woman can cum numerous times in a row. Where as most men cannot. So when a man cums, it may be a while before he can do so again. It is precious, special and not to be wasted. Master could cum right away, enjoy his orgasm and be on his way. However, he holds out so that I can be trained, punished, tested, enjoy what is being done to me. How dare I insult him by spitting out something he himself has withheld for my benefit. It would be disrespectful not to thank him properly for worrying/caring about me enough to hold out.

I love and respect my Master. I would do anything for him, so why was this such a barrier, it shouldn't be. If I love Master, do I not love every part of him? If it is okay for his cum to touch my lips, why is it not okay to have against my tongue and down my throat? Why create such a foolish barrier to enjoyment for myself and my Master?

I have learned to enjoy the entire experience. I no longer think, will it be salty? Will it be thick? I now think about how much Master has put into my training. How much attention he has given me. How many orgasms he has allowed me to have. Swallowing him, will show him how much I appreciate all he has done for me. It will show him that I want to serve him to the very best of my ability and give him the pleasure/joy/attention he needs/deserves. I could never swallow enough cum to give Master what he deserves.

There is a deep inside need for me to please Master. That includes giving him one of his most treasured joys. It took me some practice. First, his cock way down my throat so that I can swallow him without it touching my tongue. Then his cumming in my mouth and quickly swallowing as fast as I can. Then is was his cumming in my mouth with the dental gag. I actually let it sit in the back of my throat without swallowing, enjoying the fact that he gave me this wonderful gift. Now I can even suck it off of him afterwards. The more I do it, and the more importance I give to it, the easier it becomes.

It is important for Master to see the respect and gratitude I have for all he is providing for me. My heart actually jumps when I think of him cumming in my mouth. I love my dental gag and letting it sit in my mouth, waiting to swallow. I get turned on thinking of swallowing his cum, I mean I actually get wet and turned on now. I hope in the future to be able to cum just by swallowing Master's cum! That is a personal goal of mine that I hadn't shared with Master, but I guess he knows now!! LOL!!!

The mind can set barriers to happiness, but it can also open the flood gates and finally allow the chemistry of a relationship and the excitement of the moment to bring in new possibilities of pleasure into life.

So, I apologize to all the Cum Whores out there. I have judged you harshly. It was not my place to judge you, nor did I ever try to understand your love/need for cum. I get it now. I only hope to expand myself in this way for other items I have barriers for in my life.

Master, I thank you for caring so much about me. I thank you for the attention and consideration for my pleasure. Thank you for sharing such a precious gift with me. I will now and forever respect your need to cum and will not allow it to be wasted, as I had in the past. Please forgive me and allow me to continue to show you the respect and love I have for you.

Thank you for your time and attention Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

The Submission of a Slave

Sir/Ma'am,

WOW!!! My weekend was full, exciting and painful. I am afraid my Master was so busy, that he did not take video or pictures. Yes, I am bummed too, but, it also means he spent all his time and attention on me, which makes me very grateful that he valued me that much.

Friday night, Master demanded that I visit him at his work, so I was there for a few hours, which caused me to not get everything done I had wanted to, to prepare for Master on Saturday. However, it did help Master get a few more fears and hang ups out of me. Master told me to go home and get some much needed sleep. My collar was to be off (It was chaffing me) while sleeping and I was to be naked. He told me not to set my alarm or to worry about being awake when he arrived the next morning.

I woke up to Master slapping my collar on and spanking my ass. "Good morning Master!" :-) Let the Games Begin!!! Now I want to be honest and tell you I can't remember everything that happened or in what order it happened. I remember how I felt more than what was happening to me.

I was worried and a little excited I knew that Master was going to pull out all of the stops. Master announced that I was not allowed on the furniture. I was on a leash for most of the morning.

Master worked on degrading me a lot. It was to show me my place. He had made me hug the floor while he beat me, he pissed on me a couple of times, and he also made me eat cat food. It was one to see if I would do anything for him and two to degrade me and embarrass me.

Master gave me a full enema, and I wasn't able to hold it this time at all. I got severely beaten for it.

I know that Master had used rope to tie me up and beat me with his new riding crop. Hopefully that is something Master can blog about, because I am not exactly sure, what beatings and such went with which forms of being tied down.

At one point Master wrapped me in Saran Wrap, hood, mask, dental gag, E-stem on my pussy and left me on the floor. He cut out two holes for my nipples, which he pulled on and tortured. He whipped me, and especially my exposed nipples. Master sat on my face, made me lick his balls and his taint. He had the training of O on the Big Screen TV, which every once in a while I could hear. Master had made a recording of his voice telling me who I was, what I liked and what I was to do. It played over and over and over. It said things like I was a whore, slut, HIS slave, that I loved his cock, his cum and that all I want is to have his cum in my mouth. It was working. Master loved cumming directly down my throat due to having the dental gag in.

While I was wrapped up, I felt the need to urinate. I begged him to let me out to pee. He said no. He said hold it or be a dirty slut and piss on myself. I held it and held it. I kept begging and he kept saying the same thing over and over to hold it or piss on myself. I couldn't hold it any longer, I pissed myself something bad. I was sealed in this plastic wrap and the piss had no where to go. I kept peeing and couldn't stop. I was covered from my waist to my toes in my own piss. I begged to get out and Master said no. I was to stay there for the full 3 hours. I felt dirty, literally and mentally. Master handle this well. I was feeling lower than low and when he finally let me out, I cried because of what I had done. Did he hold me and tell me it was okay? Nope. He screamed at me for pissing myself and that I was to be punished for not holding it like a good slave would. With that, I believe he was on the first REAL stepping stone to my submission. Embarrassing me and degrading me, seemed to be working.

Master also had me do other things, like dishes naked, pushups, slapping my own pussy with a paint stick.

I usually can write more fluidly, but to be honest, what really stands out for me is all the pain, and feeling very dirty and ashamed. The recording that Master made had really helped push me over. I know by the end of the night it was Master's goal to leave me outside naked for the night. He was going to chain me to the fence, leave me water and cat food, go inside and lock the door. Master had gone outside and found that the weather was way too cold for me to be outside all night, so I did not have to endure that.

In retrospect, after talking, we felt maybe he should have followed through and left me out there for at least an hour. I would have been okay for an hour out there, but being naked in public, chained like a dog, and left to eat cat food and water out of pet dishes, may have done more to help. It is still on Master's radar to do that to me.

Master had beaten my ass so hard with the flogger, paint stick, paddle, hands, etc that I couldn't sit down. Master was upset the next morning because for some reason my ass doesn't bruise. I did have bruises on my tits & thighs, but not on my ass, and he had been hitting it extremely hard all day. However, it still really hurt, actually there is still a little soreness today!

As a slave going through an over 24 hour period of training, abuse, degradation, etc I can say that it is very exhausting, painful, and rewarding. Rewarding you ask? Yes, I was able to overcome some obstacles of being ashamed of liking my lifestyle. I was able to find a love and want to really sincerely please my Master. I also found a love of Master cumming on my face or in my mouth and swallowing (it was not my strong suit).

By Sunday morning I was begging Master to cum in my mouth. I wanted to swallow his cum. I felt a satisfaction of pleasing him, and it was starting to make me wet to swallow him. In fact I would say it will probably be a morning routine for me to wake Master with a blow job, and start my breakfast with his cum. All day Sunday I kept begging him for his cum. He allowed me to, a couple of times :-). This morning, Master woke me by pinching my nipples. I then moved over his cock and sucked and sucked. I learned on Saturday to ask Master where he wants his cum. I tried to please him by accepting his cum on my face (something he likes), without asking him where he wanted it. I got beat for not asking and for wasting good nutritious cum. So this morning I asked him. He wanted it all over my face. I now also know that if he cums on my face, I need to clean his dick with my mouth and swallow what isn't rubbed into my face. Which is exactly what happened this morning.

Master is still training my ass. Daily there are things in my ass, training it to be comfortable stretched so that Master may comfortably fuck me in the ass whenever he chooses. So, on Saturday we did some ass training too.

So, the purpose of this weekend was to break me, make me submit completely, so did it work? I say yes, Master says not quite yet. Master is right, I am sure had I been put outside, I would have completely broken, but he was worried about my well being. I do know that, I am just a hair on this side of completely submitting to him. I personally feel I am ready to sign the Master/Slave contract.

Why the need/want to be a slave 100% and serve this man? I have been in control (really forced to be in control) all my life. In order to survive and make it in life, I have had to take care of people and myself. I had to be responsible all the time. My life was stressful. I had gone through 10 lifetimes of crap and fought to keep my head up. I am tired. I am tired of being responsible, tired of making the decisions, tired of working hard and getting nothing pleasurable in return.

My Master and I have been together for over 18 years. He hasn't always been my Master, but he has always been by my side. I trust him and know he will care for me. I trust that what he chooses for me is the right thing. I know he would never purposely do something to me that would seriously harm me. The more I trust him, the more I want to serve him. The more I want to do for him and to please him. In return, he cares for me, protects me and takes the stress of everyday decisions and stress away from me.

So does that make me a mindless robot? No. Master values my opinions and values. He takes them into consideration, but only when asked for, or when I have properly asked to speak to him about these things. I am a huge talker. Sometimes I don't know when to shut my mouth. I am not a gossip... but sometimes a suggestion turns into a lecture. So this lifestyle actually is teaching me to only speak when I have my thoughts together, and it is important enough to mention.

This blog is what Master has provided me to be open with everything I think and feel. I am allowed to "talk" as long as I want. Master uses this as a training tool too. He reads my blog after it is published to the public. If there are things I shouldn't have said, or if I reveal things I shouldn't have done, I do get reprimanded. It doesn't stop me from blogging though... in fact if anything it makes me want to blog more. I'm learning so much about myself that I didn't know.

That's the journey, that's why I chose this to be my life. I am learning to not care about what others think, just what the person closest to me thinks. I am learning to be myself, and know what I want, what I like. I am learning that I have needs/wants and that I need to stop focusing on all those people out there who have sucked the life out of me. I am learning to make the most important relationship in my life to be the one I work on. As a couple, Master and I have been growing stronger and closer. It's been a long time since we felt this way. It honestly has saved our marriage.

So yes, I am a slave to my Master. Yes, this is my lifestyle 24/7. Yes, I enjoy swallowing cum and doing sexual favors for my Master. Yes, I enjoy doing everyday tasks as punishments or commands. Yes, I am finally enjoying life!

As a slave it is not my place to ask a favor.... however, I will risk the backlash to submit this request to all of you... please contact my Master and ask him to blog his point of view from this weekend. Many of you have already asked me what he thought, where he thought I have progressed to. I would love for him to blog and tell you what I couldn't remember or what I was unable to experience as a Master. His email address is BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

Thank you Sir/Ma'am for your time and attention.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

On the Verge of a Breakthrough

This slave is feeling different today. It can't put it's finger on it, but something is different.

Yesterday, this slave and it's Master got into two huge arguments. It was huge, like this slave was fighting for it's life. Eventually Master got this slave out of the anxiety attack, and next thing everything is calm and peacefully, like nothing had happened.

This slave worked on a lot of homework and chores. When Master returned home, he beat it's ass, shoved the anal hook in, and then took it shopping for Saturday's Marathon of fucking, beating, torture and hopefully finally complete submission. This slave is hopeful that even if not broken, it will be the biggest step yet.

Master took his slave to a pet store to look for a pet bed. He couldn't find what he wanted so he took this slave to IKEA, where he found a huge pet bed for really cheap! Next was a trip to Lowes where Master bought a lot of chain and some locks.
Then we went to Pleasures and Treasures to find a locking collar, and they didn't have any in stock. It's gay pride weekend and it's really busy in that area right now.

Then Master took his slave to The Crypt. He found a new riding crop he liked and he also bought a dental tool that keeps this slaves mouth wide open. This slave was scared but definitely wet!

Master brought his slave home and made it sit on the couch and watch tv with the family. That anal hook was in deep! Very deep. After "family time", Master shoved his slave into the bedroom, where he opened up all the toys. He chained his slave to the bed and locked the chain in place. He practiced with the riding crop.

This slave remembers the dental thing in her mouth. To be honest as the beatings got harder and harder, the less this slave remembers. There are flashes of events, but not enough to be able to write it out. Perhaps Master would like to write in this blog a couple of times, explaining some of what he did last night. This slave is hoping Master will blog about Saturday as well. :-) This slave remembers a lot of beating, a lot of pain, some crying, and then at one point, and overwhelming feeling... it was odd. It felt like the whole world had stopped. This slave was confused and disoriented. Then Master mentioned something in the Vanilla part of our world, and the feeling left. It was amazing, but scary at the same time. There are no words to describe it correctly. That feeling was the goal for this slut's night.

Later in the night, that feeling came back, but in smaller size. Master's slave really can't remember most of the night. The videos and few pictures spark a little of memory. However, this slave woke up a different slave. First the bruises, dried cum, chains, and such, told the story of being completed fucked over. Then the feeling of wanting to do things to please Master hit. This slut wants so bad to do what will make him happy. No, it isn't broken yet, but it's definitely in the right direction.

Master chained his slave to the bedroom. The chain is locked and there is no choice but to be stuck naked all day and in this room where many things have happened. Already this slave has folded laundry rocking on a butt plug. Master sends commands all day to the cell. For some reason, the motivation to do his commands asap, is huge. It has never been like this before.

It is scared but looking forward to tomorrow. There is much to do to prepare. Master is preparing to take it to the next level. His slave is waiting to do his bidding.

Thank you Sir/Ma'am for your time and attention.

Sinfully Red
Master Will's Slave
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com