Can You Rape the Willing?

Sir/Ma'am,

Yesterday was very intense. Master had been away for a while and to be honest it was hard to get back into our routine and remembering things like saying Master. I don't know why that one is so hard for me.

I had passed my inspection and Master took me to an appointment. When we got back, he mentioned my disrespect and lack of following rules to me. I was concerned but figured a good flogging was in order. That's how he usually handles these things. Nope!

Master ripped my clothes off and raped me. Now they say you can't rape the willing, I disagree. The amount of force he used intimidated me a lot. It was the first time I saw him take punishing me so seriously. It didn't matter if I cried out (as long as the safe word isn't uttered of course, which I didn't) he slammed my pussy hard with his cock. He was beating me while he fucked me very hard. I felt a few tears a couple of times.

Usually if I cry out Master would stop and caress me and calm everything down. This time the cries made it worse! When he was done with me, he told me to use the restroom. I can't remember exactly what happened, cause I was kinda in shock.... but I messed up when I talked to Master. I'm not sure if I had swore, not said Master, looked him in the eye... I really don't remember, because the punishment is all I can remember, that and there are four rules, only four and I better learn them quick!

Master was so pissed, literally! He forced me into the bathtub and made me get on my knees. He told me to open my mouth. I knew what he had planned, he was going to piss in my mouth. This is a borderline issue for me. I understand being pissed on... but in my mouth? I honestly wasn't even turned on, so that wasn't even in the mix for me. I definitely was NOT in subspace at that time. I bawled! I cried and begged him no. He kept telling me to open my mouth, and I kept refusing.

Master tried prying my mouth open, but I was so scared and worried that not letting him do this was my only concern. Master then went and grabbed the dental gag, I fought him and lost (almost lost a tooth too). He had the gag as far open as he could. Tears covered my breasts. Master then began pissing on me, first my chest, then my neck, working his way to my mouth. I swear Master had been saving up two days worth of piss. He just kept going and going. He then pissed on my cheeks and my chin. I kept raising my head as far as I could to keep from getting anything in my mouth. The smell was horrible. I felt a few splatter droplets hit my tongue, but thankfully Master was kind enough not to piss directly in my mouth.

I was covered in this smelly mess, crying. I cried out promises and admissions to stuff, I probably didn't do, but I felt horrible. I was raped and then forcibly pissed on. Then he turn on the shower as cold as can be to "wash" off the piss. It was shear torture. This was his first time for disregard to anything I felt or said. He had a plan/mission and he carried it out without any hesitation. I guess he had already worked it out in his mind what he needed the end result to be, and I think he got it.

After cleaning up properly, I found myself actually respecting him more than I already did. He has shown me to what limits he is willing to go. He has shown that he is NOT going to stray from the goal we set together a while ago. I do know if I said the safe word, he would have stopped, but I can no longer count on him stopping for a few forced tears. He has learned what my true limits are as well. Now that he knows where my real boundaries lie, I think the training will be truly on course. It may not take as long now to be trained enough to know I AM his slave fully.

It's scary and exciting at the same time. Master isn't fucking around anymore, he means it, and I know that I better give a lot more than I have been. This isn't about his follow through anymore, it's about his domination over me, and I better start learning to respect that he is in control.

I am sure some of this comes from the advice that has been shared with Master, as well as him being tired of having to punish me for the same stupid mistakes over and over again. I am definitely hoping that there are subs/slaves out there that can advise me. Those of you who are experienced, I need advise on coping and learning to get those things into my head and not forget to follow those damn rules. I would appreciate any help.

Thank you for your time, advise, and attention, Sir/Ma'am

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com