The Submission of a Slave

Sir/Ma'am,

WOW!!! My weekend was full, exciting and painful. I am afraid my Master was so busy, that he did not take video or pictures. Yes, I am bummed too, but, it also means he spent all his time and attention on me, which makes me very grateful that he valued me that much.

Friday night, Master demanded that I visit him at his work, so I was there for a few hours, which caused me to not get everything done I had wanted to, to prepare for Master on Saturday. However, it did help Master get a few more fears and hang ups out of me. Master told me to go home and get some much needed sleep. My collar was to be off (It was chaffing me) while sleeping and I was to be naked. He told me not to set my alarm or to worry about being awake when he arrived the next morning.

I woke up to Master slapping my collar on and spanking my ass. "Good morning Master!" :-) Let the Games Begin!!! Now I want to be honest and tell you I can't remember everything that happened or in what order it happened. I remember how I felt more than what was happening to me.

I was worried and a little excited I knew that Master was going to pull out all of the stops. Master announced that I was not allowed on the furniture. I was on a leash for most of the morning.

Master worked on degrading me a lot. It was to show me my place. He had made me hug the floor while he beat me, he pissed on me a couple of times, and he also made me eat cat food. It was one to see if I would do anything for him and two to degrade me and embarrass me.

Master gave me a full enema, and I wasn't able to hold it this time at all. I got severely beaten for it.

I know that Master had used rope to tie me up and beat me with his new riding crop. Hopefully that is something Master can blog about, because I am not exactly sure, what beatings and such went with which forms of being tied down.

At one point Master wrapped me in Saran Wrap, hood, mask, dental gag, E-stem on my pussy and left me on the floor. He cut out two holes for my nipples, which he pulled on and tortured. He whipped me, and especially my exposed nipples. Master sat on my face, made me lick his balls and his taint. He had the training of O on the Big Screen TV, which every once in a while I could hear. Master had made a recording of his voice telling me who I was, what I liked and what I was to do. It played over and over and over. It said things like I was a whore, slut, HIS slave, that I loved his cock, his cum and that all I want is to have his cum in my mouth. It was working. Master loved cumming directly down my throat due to having the dental gag in.

While I was wrapped up, I felt the need to urinate. I begged him to let me out to pee. He said no. He said hold it or be a dirty slut and piss on myself. I held it and held it. I kept begging and he kept saying the same thing over and over to hold it or piss on myself. I couldn't hold it any longer, I pissed myself something bad. I was sealed in this plastic wrap and the piss had no where to go. I kept peeing and couldn't stop. I was covered from my waist to my toes in my own piss. I begged to get out and Master said no. I was to stay there for the full 3 hours. I felt dirty, literally and mentally. Master handle this well. I was feeling lower than low and when he finally let me out, I cried because of what I had done. Did he hold me and tell me it was okay? Nope. He screamed at me for pissing myself and that I was to be punished for not holding it like a good slave would. With that, I believe he was on the first REAL stepping stone to my submission. Embarrassing me and degrading me, seemed to be working.

Master also had me do other things, like dishes naked, pushups, slapping my own pussy with a paint stick.

I usually can write more fluidly, but to be honest, what really stands out for me is all the pain, and feeling very dirty and ashamed. The recording that Master made had really helped push me over. I know by the end of the night it was Master's goal to leave me outside naked for the night. He was going to chain me to the fence, leave me water and cat food, go inside and lock the door. Master had gone outside and found that the weather was way too cold for me to be outside all night, so I did not have to endure that.

In retrospect, after talking, we felt maybe he should have followed through and left me out there for at least an hour. I would have been okay for an hour out there, but being naked in public, chained like a dog, and left to eat cat food and water out of pet dishes, may have done more to help. It is still on Master's radar to do that to me.

Master had beaten my ass so hard with the flogger, paint stick, paddle, hands, etc that I couldn't sit down. Master was upset the next morning because for some reason my ass doesn't bruise. I did have bruises on my tits & thighs, but not on my ass, and he had been hitting it extremely hard all day. However, it still really hurt, actually there is still a little soreness today!

As a slave going through an over 24 hour period of training, abuse, degradation, etc I can say that it is very exhausting, painful, and rewarding. Rewarding you ask? Yes, I was able to overcome some obstacles of being ashamed of liking my lifestyle. I was able to find a love and want to really sincerely please my Master. I also found a love of Master cumming on my face or in my mouth and swallowing (it was not my strong suit).

By Sunday morning I was begging Master to cum in my mouth. I wanted to swallow his cum. I felt a satisfaction of pleasing him, and it was starting to make me wet to swallow him. In fact I would say it will probably be a morning routine for me to wake Master with a blow job, and start my breakfast with his cum. All day Sunday I kept begging him for his cum. He allowed me to, a couple of times :-). This morning, Master woke me by pinching my nipples. I then moved over his cock and sucked and sucked. I learned on Saturday to ask Master where he wants his cum. I tried to please him by accepting his cum on my face (something he likes), without asking him where he wanted it. I got beat for not asking and for wasting good nutritious cum. So this morning I asked him. He wanted it all over my face. I now also know that if he cums on my face, I need to clean his dick with my mouth and swallow what isn't rubbed into my face. Which is exactly what happened this morning.

Master is still training my ass. Daily there are things in my ass, training it to be comfortable stretched so that Master may comfortably fuck me in the ass whenever he chooses. So, on Saturday we did some ass training too.

So, the purpose of this weekend was to break me, make me submit completely, so did it work? I say yes, Master says not quite yet. Master is right, I am sure had I been put outside, I would have completely broken, but he was worried about my well being. I do know that, I am just a hair on this side of completely submitting to him. I personally feel I am ready to sign the Master/Slave contract.

Why the need/want to be a slave 100% and serve this man? I have been in control (really forced to be in control) all my life. In order to survive and make it in life, I have had to take care of people and myself. I had to be responsible all the time. My life was stressful. I had gone through 10 lifetimes of crap and fought to keep my head up. I am tired. I am tired of being responsible, tired of making the decisions, tired of working hard and getting nothing pleasurable in return.

My Master and I have been together for over 18 years. He hasn't always been my Master, but he has always been by my side. I trust him and know he will care for me. I trust that what he chooses for me is the right thing. I know he would never purposely do something to me that would seriously harm me. The more I trust him, the more I want to serve him. The more I want to do for him and to please him. In return, he cares for me, protects me and takes the stress of everyday decisions and stress away from me.

So does that make me a mindless robot? No. Master values my opinions and values. He takes them into consideration, but only when asked for, or when I have properly asked to speak to him about these things. I am a huge talker. Sometimes I don't know when to shut my mouth. I am not a gossip... but sometimes a suggestion turns into a lecture. So this lifestyle actually is teaching me to only speak when I have my thoughts together, and it is important enough to mention.

This blog is what Master has provided me to be open with everything I think and feel. I am allowed to "talk" as long as I want. Master uses this as a training tool too. He reads my blog after it is published to the public. If there are things I shouldn't have said, or if I reveal things I shouldn't have done, I do get reprimanded. It doesn't stop me from blogging though... in fact if anything it makes me want to blog more. I'm learning so much about myself that I didn't know.

That's the journey, that's why I chose this to be my life. I am learning to not care about what others think, just what the person closest to me thinks. I am learning to be myself, and know what I want, what I like. I am learning that I have needs/wants and that I need to stop focusing on all those people out there who have sucked the life out of me. I am learning to make the most important relationship in my life to be the one I work on. As a couple, Master and I have been growing stronger and closer. It's been a long time since we felt this way. It honestly has saved our marriage.

So yes, I am a slave to my Master. Yes, this is my lifestyle 24/7. Yes, I enjoy swallowing cum and doing sexual favors for my Master. Yes, I enjoy doing everyday tasks as punishments or commands. Yes, I am finally enjoying life!

As a slave it is not my place to ask a favor.... however, I will risk the backlash to submit this request to all of you... please contact my Master and ask him to blog his point of view from this weekend. Many of you have already asked me what he thought, where he thought I have progressed to. I would love for him to blog and tell you what I couldn't remember or what I was unable to experience as a Master. His email address is BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com

Thank you Sir/Ma'am for your time and attention.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com