My Master's Journey in a slave's Shoes

Sir/Ma'am,

Today's blog is hard for me to write. My Master and I changed roles in order to save our marriage and it is not something I want to do on a regular basis. I prefer to be a sub/slave at all times. That being said.......

Master is still learning about this lifestyle. He likes what he sees and the thought of it. As many blogs as I have written and as many times as we talk, he was missing the mark on why I like to be a slave, beaten, and humiliated. I have tried to tell him and well, I guess he still didn't understand.

Master had been off for a couple of days, phoning in his role as Master. When we went to the Club X party, he never treated me like a sub or slave until the end of the night. It was very hard for me. I wanted to serve, I wanted to please him, instead we sat watching others, as I wish he would pay attention to me as well.

When we got home, Master phoned in an orgasm for me and it took forever because I could feel he wasn't even there. I had done a lot at the club when we finally played. Not only be on the cross being beaten, but Master had most of my clothes off, and we hadn't discussed going that far. I thought for sure that deserved a good orgasm or maybe being allowed to sleep in the bed with Master, but no. After the phoned in orgasm, and being sent to the floor, I wasn't going to bed in a very submissive mood. He also forgot my Meds for my Fibro and didn't put the earphones on me. He showed that he just didn't really care.

The next morning I asked for open talk time... where I can speak my mind respectfully and allow him to know what is going on with me. He blew up. He didn't respect the open talk time. Things got really ugly and I was ready to leave. I texted friends who wanted me to leave the house, but I am glad I didn't. He finally revealed that he felt so bad and just wished he could physically feel the pain he was feeling inside. My ears perked up... ah... yes... I can help with that.

I asked him if he really wanted to be punished and feel that pain and he said yes. He stripped down naked and laid on the bed, where I decided to do everything he had done to me in the last 24 hours. I started beating his ass with the paint stick... I wasn't very hard, just some tapping and he was screaming in pain... what???

Master doesn't do well with pain, he is a strong man who has done a lot for our family and others. He is a great protector, but one on one... he can't stand the smallest of pain. I couldn't stand that he was crying so I hit him harder so he would know the difference between hitting hard and just tapping him. He seemed to get it.

Master messes with my nipples all the time... so I messed with his. I put clothes pins all over his body, like he did me and then I messed with them and started using the riding crop on his body. I had him choose which ones were to come off and if they should come off slow or fast. If they fell off I added more and if he swore I added more. I flicked his nipples and really tortured them.

I made him look in the mirror while I beat him and he cried more. I was using the flogger, ping pong paddle, riding crop, and paint stick as my beating tools.

Master hadn't gone to the bathroom yet and had been holding it during the fight. He asked if he could go and I told him to stand in the bathtub but he couldn't go to the bathroom. I grabbed a cup and told him to fill it and then stop peeing. It was very hard for him to control his piss. I took the full cup and dumped it down his back. He filled it up again and I poured it down his front. He was shaking and whimpering. He filled it up the last time. This was early morning piss that had been held for hours. I had him smell the cup for a few deep breathes and then made him pour it on himself. He was about to cry and then I turned the cold shower on him and told him to get clean.

I prepared the bed for the next adventure. As soon as he was done drying off, I put the blind fold on him and led him around then got him on the bed in a slave's present posture. I then caressed his balls and dick, and asshole. I lubed up his ass and put a long line of anal beads up his ass, because I know he likes it. I was gentle and I was letting him enjoy it. Then he really cried. He didn't understand why I would do something he enjoyed.

The punishment was over. He did very well, except for all the crying. It was time to bring him back to being happy, in love, in lust and know that I respect him for going through this and understanding what it is like to be his slave. Just because I punished him doesn't mean I don't love him or want to see him happy. When the punishment is over, it's over.

Master wrote a blog on his insight, I have to say it's been two days and I see a huge difference in how Master interacts with me, beats me, pleasures me, and understands me. The fact that he went through that turns me on. Not because I like to dominate, but that now we have an understanding of each other and their roles.

Master has changed his reason for being in this lifestyle to a much better reason. I feel more comfortable with him now. I feel safe, loved, and the trust is building back up, quickly.

I guess when we move to the next stage in anything we do there can be pain, conflict, resistance, and understanding. I am so happy we have cleared this hurdle, and by doing so, I was able to trust Master enough to relax and have his cock in my ass. He has only ever been able to do so 3 other times. This time it felt good. Trust means a lot in a relationship. If I trust him, then I am more relaxed and comfortable in what he has me do/say.

Please don't think badly of my Master, it was a learning experience. He is a Master, not a sub, he wanted to save our marriage, by spending some time in my shoes. How amazing is that!?!?! I love my Master with all my heart and I thank him for being strong and wanting to do anything to keep us together.

Thank you for your time and attention, Sir/Ma'am.

Sinfully Red
www.sinfullyred.blogspot.com
BDSMMasterandslave@gmail.com